Apocalypto (2006)
Note: This edited version is still quite violent.
O An excellent must-see
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
X Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
As noted above, though edited, “Apocalypto” is still brutally violent. The warfare depicted is that of an ancient civilization, so we see wounds with knives, spears, hatchets, and even beheadings. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget horrific animal attacks.
“Apocalypto” is a well-executed action drama. Set among the ancient Mayan culture, this movie depicts one man’s harrowing journey to save his wife and children before it’s too late.
One morning Jaguar Paw’s (Rudy Youngblood) tribe is attacked by another malicious tribe. The murderous assailants slaughter most of the village, capturing the young men for an even more unpleasant purpose.
Amid the attack, Jaguar Paw hides his pregnant wife and his little boy in a deep hole. He must survive and escape his captors and rush back to rescue his family from said hole.
The movie looks great and seems to be authentic. All of the Mayan dialogue is subtitled.
Some movies simply shouldn’t be edited; “Apocalypto” is one of them. Its scantily clad male and female natives’ partial nudity is one indicator. But I can spot the “shouldn’t be edited” movies pretty easily: When my wife leaves the room in disgust, I know I’ve found another one. Rent something else.
Directed by Mel Gibson
Rudy Youngblood / Morris Birdyellowhead / Raoul Trujillo
139 min. Action / Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 18 and up
DVD release date: May 22, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0116 : 199
Epic Movie (2006)
O An excellent must-see
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
X Rent ANYTHING else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
There are dumb movies, then there are “the intelligence of an amoeba” movies. “Epic Movie” is the latter. You’d be hard pressed to find something half as idiotic on YouTube — and that site has people setting themselves on fire.
Basically, “Epic Movie” is like the “Scary Movie” series (but not funny). It incoherently ties together and spoofs the characters and plot points from many of the 2005 and 2006, big-budget, blockbuster movies, such as “The Da Vinci Code,” “Superman Returns,” “Nacho Libre” and so forth.
The story primarily follows “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” Four orphans embark on misadventures when they venture into a mysterious wardrobe. Honestly, there’s no point in describing it any further.
So, if you really like really silly humor and the epic Hollywood blockbusters, you might be able to enjoy “Epic Movie.”
But seriously I doubt it.
Directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Kal Penn / Adam Campbell / Jayma Mays / Faune Chambers
86 min. Comedy
(Original MPAA rating: PG-13)
Edited version age recommendation: 12 and up
DVD release date: May 22, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0117 : 146
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
X Rent ANYTHING else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
There are dumb movies, then there are “the intelligence of an amoeba” movies. “Epic Movie” is the latter. You’d be hard pressed to find something half as idiotic on YouTube — and that site has people setting themselves on fire.
Basically, “Epic Movie” is like the “Scary Movie” series (but not funny). It incoherently ties together and spoofs the characters and plot points from many of the 2005 and 2006, big-budget, blockbuster movies, such as “The Da Vinci Code,” “Superman Returns,” “Nacho Libre” and so forth.
The story primarily follows “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” Four orphans embark on misadventures when they venture into a mysterious wardrobe. Honestly, there’s no point in describing it any further.
So, if you really like really silly humor and the epic Hollywood blockbusters, you might be able to enjoy “Epic Movie.”
But seriously I doubt it.
Directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Kal Penn / Adam Campbell / Jayma Mays / Faune Chambers
86 min. Comedy
(Original MPAA rating: PG-13)
Edited version age recommendation: 12 and up
DVD release date: May 22, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0117 : 146
Letters From Iwo Jima (2006)
O An excellent must-see
X Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
The masterstroke of “Letters From Iwo Jima” is its ability to depict both warring nations, the United States and Japan, with humanity. Lesser movies just show us “the enemy.”
“Letters” is a companion movie to Clint Eastwood’s “Flags of Our Fathers” (2006). The former shows the battle at Iwo Jima primarily from the Japanese perspective, while the latter shows the battle from the American point of view. But “Flags” goes amiss as it strays from the island into the controversy of a famous photograph.
“Letters” is the better movie. The dialogue is almost entirely in Japanese, so be prepared to read some fast subtitles. We follow the perils of a few Japanese men and learn of their inner thoughts and struggles through hearing a narration of their letters home.
With interest and concern, we follow these men and see what happens to them. This is a bizarre movie in that it tends to make us root for the Japanese, rather than the Americans. More accurately, we don’t want either side to be killed.
In addition to being a good war movie, “Letters” is a good drama that depicts credible characters. It’s fascinating to compare and contrast the two cultures.
Directed by Clint Eastwood
Ken Watanabe / Kazunari Ninomiya / Tsuyoshi Ihara
141 min. War / Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 15 and up
DVD release date: May 22, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0118 : 199
X Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
The masterstroke of “Letters From Iwo Jima” is its ability to depict both warring nations, the United States and Japan, with humanity. Lesser movies just show us “the enemy.”
“Letters” is a companion movie to Clint Eastwood’s “Flags of Our Fathers” (2006). The former shows the battle at Iwo Jima primarily from the Japanese perspective, while the latter shows the battle from the American point of view. But “Flags” goes amiss as it strays from the island into the controversy of a famous photograph.
“Letters” is the better movie. The dialogue is almost entirely in Japanese, so be prepared to read some fast subtitles. We follow the perils of a few Japanese men and learn of their inner thoughts and struggles through hearing a narration of their letters home.
With interest and concern, we follow these men and see what happens to them. This is a bizarre movie in that it tends to make us root for the Japanese, rather than the Americans. More accurately, we don’t want either side to be killed.
In addition to being a good war movie, “Letters” is a good drama that depicts credible characters. It’s fascinating to compare and contrast the two cultures.
Directed by Clint Eastwood
Ken Watanabe / Kazunari Ninomiya / Tsuyoshi Ihara
141 min. War / Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 15 and up
DVD release date: May 22, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0118 : 199
Sling Blade (1996)
X An excellent must-see
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
From its title, everyone always assumes that “Sling Blade” is some kind of slasher, horror movie. It’s not. “Sling Blade” is a masterpiece and among my top three, all-time favorite films.
Billy Bob Thornton wrote, directed and starred in this drama about friendship. Thornton plays Karl Childers, a simple man who has some kind of mental imperfection that provokes unkind people to call him “slow” or “retarded.”
At the age of 12, Karl killed two people. Since that time, he has been locked away for years in a state hospital for those who have mental problems. “Sling Blade” begins on the day of his release back into society. Karl is sent to the tiny town of Millsburg, where he grew up, somewhere in the south.
Karl gets a job and becomes fast friends with a boy named Frank (Lucas Black). This drama is about their friendship and those they associate with in the town.
“Sling Blade” is predictable, but its story is so well told that we don’t mind. This edited version has violence that is either verbally described or is implied, not depicted. Even so, “Sling Blade” is not for children but for anyone who loves great movies.
Directed by Billy Bob Thornton
Billy Bob Thornton / Lucas Black / Dwight Yoakam
135 min. Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 15 and up
DVD release date: (Director’s Cut) June 7, 2005
Copyright 2007.
JP0115 : 199
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
From its title, everyone always assumes that “Sling Blade” is some kind of slasher, horror movie. It’s not. “Sling Blade” is a masterpiece and among my top three, all-time favorite films.
Billy Bob Thornton wrote, directed and starred in this drama about friendship. Thornton plays Karl Childers, a simple man who has some kind of mental imperfection that provokes unkind people to call him “slow” or “retarded.”
At the age of 12, Karl killed two people. Since that time, he has been locked away for years in a state hospital for those who have mental problems. “Sling Blade” begins on the day of his release back into society. Karl is sent to the tiny town of Millsburg, where he grew up, somewhere in the south.
Karl gets a job and becomes fast friends with a boy named Frank (Lucas Black). This drama is about their friendship and those they associate with in the town.
“Sling Blade” is predictable, but its story is so well told that we don’t mind. This edited version has violence that is either verbally described or is implied, not depicted. Even so, “Sling Blade” is not for children but for anyone who loves great movies.
Directed by Billy Bob Thornton
Billy Bob Thornton / Lucas Black / Dwight Yoakam
135 min. Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 15 and up
DVD release date: (Director’s Cut) June 7, 2005
Copyright 2007.
JP0115 : 199
O (2001)
O An excellent must-see
X Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
“O” is a surprisingly intriguing modern spin on Shakespeare’s “Othello.” As is characteristic with Shakespeare’s works, this is a story full of intrigue and despicable characters.
Hugo (Josh Hartnett) is a talented basketball player (and the coach’s son). But that hasn’t won him any favoritism. The coach’s favorite is an even more talented African American player named Odin (Mekhi Phifer).
Hugo’s jealousy and secret contempt for Odin leads him to weave a web of wickedness so vile, that we wonder how he can possibly face himself in the mirror. His treachery is so reprehensible that we cannot look away because we must see what incredulous scheme he’ll implement next.
Basically, Hugo wishes to remove his obstacle, the school’s star player and O’s girlfriend, Desi (Julia Stiles), so he can receive the limelight that he feels he rightfully deserves.
“O” is mostly filled with lies and deceit, though it does have a few violent scenes that are necessary to the plot. What I love about this “sleeper” is its dialed-down, quiet nature. It’s not flashy like some summertime blockbuster, but it’s simple and confident in its story.
I wish we had Shakespeare here to write plays for the silver screen.
Directed by Tim Blake Nelson
Josh Hartnett / Mekhi Phifer / Julia Stiles
95 min. Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 15 and up
DVD release date: February 19, 2002
Copyright 2007.
JP0121 : 199
X Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
“O” is a surprisingly intriguing modern spin on Shakespeare’s “Othello.” As is characteristic with Shakespeare’s works, this is a story full of intrigue and despicable characters.
Hugo (Josh Hartnett) is a talented basketball player (and the coach’s son). But that hasn’t won him any favoritism. The coach’s favorite is an even more talented African American player named Odin (Mekhi Phifer).
Hugo’s jealousy and secret contempt for Odin leads him to weave a web of wickedness so vile, that we wonder how he can possibly face himself in the mirror. His treachery is so reprehensible that we cannot look away because we must see what incredulous scheme he’ll implement next.
Basically, Hugo wishes to remove his obstacle, the school’s star player and O’s girlfriend, Desi (Julia Stiles), so he can receive the limelight that he feels he rightfully deserves.
“O” is mostly filled with lies and deceit, though it does have a few violent scenes that are necessary to the plot. What I love about this “sleeper” is its dialed-down, quiet nature. It’s not flashy like some summertime blockbuster, but it’s simple and confident in its story.
I wish we had Shakespeare here to write plays for the silver screen.
Directed by Tim Blake Nelson
Josh Hartnett / Mekhi Phifer / Julia Stiles
95 min. Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 15 and up
DVD release date: February 19, 2002
Copyright 2007.
JP0121 : 199
Lord of the Flies (1990)
O An excellent must-see
X Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
Based on the novel by William Golding, “Lord of the Flies” has become a modern classic, particularly for junior high readers.
Some criticize this slightly modernized adaptation, but it still makes the same scary statements about human beings and still contains its small glimmer of hope.
A group of boys, between nine to 12 years old, are cadets in a military boys’ school. While traveling from overseas, their plane crashes into the ocean. The survivors manage to swim to a small, deserted island somewhere “in the tropics.” There are no functional adults present to supervise the castaways, so they establish their own society.
But the movie takes a dark turn as it observes the boys’ rapid descent into lawlessness and savagery. Not all of the boys succumb to animalistic tendencies, however.
The movie’s tagline summarizes it best: “No parents. No teachers. No rules … No mercy.”
This edited version is still somewhat violent and disturbing. But perhaps because of my own upbringing with this story, I would still recommend it for junior high viewers.
“Lord of the Flies” is most upsetting because we can easily see the truth of its painful commentary about human nature.
Directed by Harry Hook
Balthazar Getty / Chris Furrh / Danuel Pipoly
90 min. Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 10 and up
DVD release date: November 20, 2001
Copyright 2007.
JP0120 : 195
X Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 29, 2007
Based on the novel by William Golding, “Lord of the Flies” has become a modern classic, particularly for junior high readers.
Some criticize this slightly modernized adaptation, but it still makes the same scary statements about human beings and still contains its small glimmer of hope.
A group of boys, between nine to 12 years old, are cadets in a military boys’ school. While traveling from overseas, their plane crashes into the ocean. The survivors manage to swim to a small, deserted island somewhere “in the tropics.” There are no functional adults present to supervise the castaways, so they establish their own society.
But the movie takes a dark turn as it observes the boys’ rapid descent into lawlessness and savagery. Not all of the boys succumb to animalistic tendencies, however.
The movie’s tagline summarizes it best: “No parents. No teachers. No rules … No mercy.”
This edited version is still somewhat violent and disturbing. But perhaps because of my own upbringing with this story, I would still recommend it for junior high viewers.
“Lord of the Flies” is most upsetting because we can easily see the truth of its painful commentary about human nature.
Directed by Harry Hook
Balthazar Getty / Chris Furrh / Danuel Pipoly
90 min. Drama
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 10 and up
DVD release date: November 20, 2001
Copyright 2007.
JP0120 : 195
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
X An excellent must-see
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 15, 2007
Please note that “Pan’s Labyrinth” is not a children’s movie; it has been called “a fairy tale for adults.” In any case, “Pan’s Labyrinth” is a remarkable film.
You should also know that “Pan’s Labyrinth” is filmed in Spanish with English subtitles. (Some people have an aversion to foreign films for this reason.) And even though it’s edited, this movie is still fairly violent, including shootings, beatings, stabbings and mild violence toward a child.
Set in war-torn Spain, 1944, “Pan’s Labyrinth” tells the story of Ofelia (Ivana Baquero), an 11-year-old girl whose widowed mother recently married a ruthless military captain.
Ofelia lives in two worlds: the unhappy misery of her new home amid warring soldiers, and she’s somehow drawn into a magical, fairy-tale-like realm. A creepy fawn tells Ofelia that she is actually the princess of an underworld king (not Satan), but she must complete three quests before the next full moon to regain her throne.
“Pan’s Labyrinth” shows us how the young girl struggles to negotiate both of her dangerous worlds. The truly fascinating element of the movie is determining whether Ofelia’s fairy tale world actually exists or is merely a traumatized little girl’s imaginary coping mechanism.
Directed by Guillermo del Toro
Ivana Baquero / Sergi Lopez / Maribel Verdu
112 min. Drama / Fantasy
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 17 and up
DVD release date: May 15, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0112 : 198
O Good video rental
O Mediocre
O Rent something else
Review by Jason Pyles / May 15, 2007
Please note that “Pan’s Labyrinth” is not a children’s movie; it has been called “a fairy tale for adults.” In any case, “Pan’s Labyrinth” is a remarkable film.
You should also know that “Pan’s Labyrinth” is filmed in Spanish with English subtitles. (Some people have an aversion to foreign films for this reason.) And even though it’s edited, this movie is still fairly violent, including shootings, beatings, stabbings and mild violence toward a child.
Set in war-torn Spain, 1944, “Pan’s Labyrinth” tells the story of Ofelia (Ivana Baquero), an 11-year-old girl whose widowed mother recently married a ruthless military captain.
Ofelia lives in two worlds: the unhappy misery of her new home amid warring soldiers, and she’s somehow drawn into a magical, fairy-tale-like realm. A creepy fawn tells Ofelia that she is actually the princess of an underworld king (not Satan), but she must complete three quests before the next full moon to regain her throne.
“Pan’s Labyrinth” shows us how the young girl struggles to negotiate both of her dangerous worlds. The truly fascinating element of the movie is determining whether Ofelia’s fairy tale world actually exists or is merely a traumatized little girl’s imaginary coping mechanism.
Directed by Guillermo del Toro
Ivana Baquero / Sergi Lopez / Maribel Verdu
112 min. Drama / Fantasy
(Original MPAA rating: R)
Edited version age recommendation: 17 and up
DVD release date: May 15, 2007
Copyright 2007.
JP0112 : 198
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